"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
They have beer where we have blood.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize