I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
