I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
