"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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