I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
