Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
