The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
