her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
