Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
did you just send me my own nude
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
