Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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