i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
