if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
