I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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