i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
