i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he shaved USA in his pubs
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
