I need help removing her.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize