: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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