fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
