found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
