Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
