Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
