This is not my ceiling
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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