I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
