all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
