Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
