You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
