what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize