i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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