i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
