false alarm. still invincible.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
