I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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