we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
