did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
