Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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