i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Come see our sink grown plant.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
