why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
