I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
