I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I don't think brook has ever known best
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
