you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
