Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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