shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
