Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Will you blow on my dice?

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(256): View more from Alabama

One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds

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(712): View more from Iowa

We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.

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(514): View more from Quebec

The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!

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(402): View more from Nebraska

What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?

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(845): View more from New York

I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink

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(317): View more from Indiana

QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES

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