I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
