you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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