I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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