Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
