And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
pop tarts are not kleenex
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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