At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
