Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
