Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize