just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
