Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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