how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
