come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
