Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize