the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize