sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
