and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
