you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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