is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just gargled with NyQuil
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
