I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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