I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
